‘…there is a peace in this place’— Rev. Nelson Granade

 

 

By KEN WELBORN

Record Publisher

Eleven days ago, we all became one color, and that color was sad.

Howard Donald Williams Jr. – known to everyone as “Don” – tragically lost his life, and several members of another family were also seriously injured in an automobile accident on Saturday evening, Oct. 2.

I do not pretend to imagine the heartbreak and sorrow being felt by his mother and father, Don and Kathy Williams, for nothing is more unnatural than to bury a child.

Don Williams was a good kid – a really good kid.  You know, the kind of kid who other parents were glad to see their own kids hang out with.  He was a member of the First Baptist Church on Main Street in North Wilkesboro.  At Wilkes Central High School, where he was a junior, he was a member of the Key Club, Peer Leadership, Academic Booster Club, National Honor Society, the yearbook staff and the varsity basketball team.

But more than any of that, he was a true and trusted friend, and to me, no finer compliment can be afforded to this remarkable young man.  The outpouring of grief at the loss of Don wasn’t just for his family, for his friends knew they, too, had lost someone very special and that their young lives would forever be changed.

My wife, Laura, and I knew Don from his part-time job at the Brushy Mountain Smokehouse Grill in North Wilkesboro.  He was always outgoing and polite, answering “yes sir” or “yes ma’am” when spoken to.  I had forgotten, but Billy Joe Church pointed out to me that Don played YMCA basketball for both Thursday Magazine and The Record’s teams,  Our son, Levi, was a classmate and friend, and Don had spent the night in our apartment on the Friday before that fateful accident.  

The impact this young man had during his short life was made all the more obvious by the number of people who responded in so many ways to the tragedy.  For days, the Knollwood neighborhood where the Williams family lives was almost impossible to get through for the cars of visitors parked on both sides of the street.  On Tuesday evening, when I drove out to the Reins-Sturdivant Funeral Home for the wake, cars were parked all the way out to the Cattle Sale on Highway 115.  And on Wednesday, when we went to the First Baptist church on D Street, my wife and I stood in the vestibule and listened to the service with all the others who were unable to get inside the church.

I have to say that the funeral was one of the most powerful services I have ever attended.

When I arrived, the choir from Don’s home church was already setting the tone for what would be a true celebration of the young man’s life.  You simply could not sit or stand still during this service.

A lady standing behind me knew the songs and sang along beautifully with the choir.  A young soldier in uniform gave up his seat in the church to an older person.  Young people, wearing black ribbons consoled each other, many of them weeping openly.

Rev. Nelson Granade said in his remarks that… “On this day, we are all one church, one in Christ.”  He went on to mention things about Don’s life, referring to him as one who broke barriers of all kinds, whether they were educational, social, economic, or racial.  Granade pointed out that because of the extraordinary life of this young man, people were together in the same building that may have never come together otherwise, referring to the somewhat historic joint service of North Wilkesboro’s two First Baptists Churches.    

Rev. John Speaks, pastor of the First Baptist Church on Main Street, also spoke to those assembled, striking a theme of: “I want to see good things come out of this…” And, true to his evangelistic roots, he worked in a brief sermon based on: “Too much salvation on the outside, and not enough on the inside.”

Like so many folks attending the service, I couldn’t help but think back to my own days of being 16 year’s old and truly wondering how I had survived to be here today.  We all make choices and we all make decisions, which can change our lives and the lives of those around us.  Everyone feels badly for the Robert Watkins Jr. family, injured in the accident that tragic Saturday, and they are thankful to friends and family who have rallied strongly to help them through this time.

Don Williams Jr. appeared to be a kid who had made a lifetime of right and proper decisions, and who was clearly on his way to greatness —  when one simply wrong decision had cost him his life.  It is incumbent on all of us; friends, family, and clergy alike, not to let this young man’s life to have been lost in vain – to remind our children that they are neither invincible nor immortal while here on this earth.

Previously I mentioned that the choir of the First Baptist Church on Main Street set the tone for the service for Don Williams Jr.  As they sang, swayed to the music, and gave spontaneous testimonies of faith, I briefly thought of a conversation I’d once had with Don’s aunt, Ella Jean Williams, when we were working on a program for the service.

 I had awkwardly tried to express my condolences and sympathy to her and she replied, “You know, Mr. Welborn, God sends each of us to do a job, and when that job is done, he takes us home.  I believe Don’s job on earth was done, and God called him.”  She continued, “Of course we’re not happy about it – we’re sad, and we miss him, but we understand. We have faith.”

 

 

Howard Donald  “Don”  Williams, Jr.

March 29, 1988 – October 2, 2004

Rest in Peace

 

What happened and when did it happen?

By CASEYANNIE

I walk down the street and in my minds eye I still look like I did when I was 40.  I look in the mirror and there is a stranger there! When did she show up? She looks just like my mother.

Her hair is thinner now and there are "laugh lines" around her eyes and "frown lines" on her forehead.  Her neck is drooping.  When did her ear lobes start growing so long?  They used to be sweet little shells now they are just blobs. 

What are those things on my chin?  Should I start shaving?

When did I start thinking that a good day was when I got to stay home?  Time was that was a bad day.

How come I never see the end of a television show?  Seems I always wake up as the last credits start rolling.

I remember reading into the night.  Now I am lucky to make it to the switch to turn off the light.

Who was it who thinks that everyone should get at least eight hours of sleep? They must be somewhere around 30.  I can remember those wonderful lazy days of taking breakfast to bed and reading the paper with my husband in the morning.  Now, I have to get up and move or I will be in pain the rest of the day.

I remember the time that a nice warm bath and shampoo and getting dressed took about 10 minutes.  Now, I have to have at least two hours of lead time.  This makes for all kinds of fun on a trip with husband.  He is up and wants to be "on the road" at o dark thirty.  Yeah right, like that is going to happen.   He just thought he had to wait for me to get dressed when we were dating!  Now, 15 minutes are nothing compared to what he has to wait.  Thank goodness he has also gotten used to this and is prepared to dress and lay back down and snooze, opening his eyes once in a while to check progress. The thing is he then decides he could get a few things back in the car and then has to go back out and get a bag that you still need.

There was the time when my make up bag weighed about two ounces.  Now, it takes two strong men and a fork lift to pick up.

I used to jump in the car and go on a seconds notice.  Now, have to make sure to have my medicines and a jacket and clean my glasses and tissues in my pocket and cell phone in pocket.  I walk around looking like a bag lady with my pockets bulging.  My purse is now like a suitcase with all the mess I have to tote around with me.  Just when I am older and don't need to tote that bag the thing has gotten heavier. Not to mention that everything has to be put back exactly where it should be or I will forget what I did with it.

There are some really good things about being an old lady, I have found.  You just have to learn to turn some things to your advantage.  For instance, a gray haired little lady is always forgiven for being slow except by men in suits who are trying to get on to the next big deal.  The funny thing is that when someone offers to carry your bags, it is always some nice man who is in worse shape than you are.  You have to let him do it because it will hurt his feelings if you don't.  As he wheezes and sweats getting that bag of Q-tips in the car you really feel bad for him.  The other side of that coin is when the bag boy at the store is loping ahead of you like he really knows which car is yours.  He then slows down and waits for you to catch up you can tell that he wants to get on with it.

Another good thing is when you don't want to do something you don’t have to do it.  You have now learned that it will always still be there for when you are "in the mood".  The down side to this is when the kids come.  They think you don't notice them looking at each other and rolling their eyes over Mom having lowered her standards.

Another good thing is you see the "Mothers Curse" coming to fruition.  It is so fun to have your kids complain about their kids.  In fact is really hard to not laugh out loud.  Well okay, I will admit I have laughed on occasion.  I think the real biggie was when one of my kids started lamenting about the "younger generation"  that was marked on the calendar and the anniversary is toasted each year with a little glass of wine. 

It just seems that each year brings a few more ailments and age creeps up on you.  It amazes me when someone says to age gracefully.  How do you do that one?  This hip and knee keep me from being really graceful.  Remember how you used to sit slowly and now you just drop?  Remember how you could juggle all the groceries and your purse and the dog and the kids and still unlock the door and never drop a thing? Remember when you could clean the house and do the wash and cook a huge meal in one day?  Seems that I can remember doing that.

So each year brings another surprise.  Sometimes it is not the surprise you were hoping for but is still a surprise.  I am thinking that the fun of living is waiting to see what is next.  The bad times never last and neither do the good times but that does not mean the next thing will be bad.  It will just be different. 

Have a good one and stay away from those mirrors.  They’ll just depress you.

Caseyannie24@yahoo.com